Feb232009
Thanks, I’ll stick with this.
Filed under History,Self by Kim at 10:18 pm on Feb 23 2009
This weekend I got to see one of my oldest friends Genie in the flesh. I love this, because sometimes the internet doesn’t cut it. Lately she’s been my independent blogging inspiration but this weekend she just got to be my friend. We talked shit about shit, which brought up relationships. Genie said something like:
“My 11-years-ago self would have laughed at you if you told her where I am today.”
I immediately identified, maybe for slightly different reasons. Why 11 years? I guess as it happens she and I were both going through sea changes then. I think of my 1998 self as a very… special version of myself. If you’d told 1998 me about the ways I’m currently working on my relationship and where my priorities are today, she would have thought 2009 Kim was some kind of sucker. She would have thought I was pathetic and sad. She would have said, “never!”. But see here are some of the other things she would do:
- sacrificed/ignored all her dreams and ambitions to lavish attention on a dude
- cheated on that dude when she was unsatisfied or hurt
- had no self-worth that was independent of her relationship with a dude
- reaped no significant enjoyment out of anything but praise and love from a dude
And yes – 1998 Kim still considered herself a feminist! So, you know. Fuck 1998 Kim. If you are out there, and you are reading this, and you knew me in 1998, I’m sorry if I was a jerk. I was a little pathetic and sad back then. I wouldn’t call it regret, because I’m not much for that, but it sure puts things in a comfortable perspective.
1 Genieon 24 Feb 2009 at 9:41 am
I’m fond of all the vintages of Kim.
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Kim Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Thank you! I know I wouldn’t be me without her, but what you said just set my mind off.
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2 Angela @ Lost In Splendoron 24 Feb 2009 at 11:12 am
Oh how I cringe to think of 1998 Angela. She would have totally hated me. I think that’s probably for the best. She listened to a lot of Korn and was very angry most of the time.
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Kim Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Yes, the occasional Korn listening is OK, but not all the time!! 😀
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